Spanx Me

There’s gonna be a ball. F will suit up penguin style and I will be like Cinderella, transforming from slave-to-2-girls to slave-to-2-girls-but-wearing-a-fancy-dress.

I tried on my “ballgown” today…had to take a deep breath, suck it in, push with my hands, and  zzzzzzzip. Oh. I can’t breathe. Nor will I be able to sit down and eat. Oh well. Maybe the week leading up to the ball, I’ll go Oscars-style and embark on some extreme Master Cleanse diet which involves drinking six to 12 glasses a day of a bizarre drink that includes maple syrup, lemon juice, cayenne pepper and spring water.  Anything for fashion, right?

The dress doesn’t look so bad, especially since I’ve discovered Spanx to hold in my lumps and bumps. My gut appears to be smooth and sleek, not wrinkly and loose like the sharpei skin it really is. Gotta love my Spanx.

Spanx are a wonder. They come in all styles to fit your outfit and have names such as Higher Power, Hide & Sleek, Slim Cognito. I’ll be pouring myself into a Hide & Sleek Hi-Rise Body Smoother. Spanxin’ from head to toe.




2 responses to “Spanx Me

  1. Spanx or Assets to the rescue! I remember watching my mom squeeze into the old-fashioned version and thinking to myself that would never be me. Little did I know! Saggy post-baby-belly be gone!

  2. Assets gets your ass set better than a set of squats? I’ll have to try those!

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