I Run to Be…High.
After my marathon on the 17th, I was on such a high for about 3-4 days. This was the highest high I ever experienced after an endurance event. I felt strong, confident, beautiful, more so than I ever have, but then it all came crashing down.
I remember this happened almost exactly 1 year ago, after a season of triathlon training came to an end. For about a week, I wandered aimlessly through the gym in search of a purposeful workout. I felt lost for a few days without having a training goal. I thought that was bad.
This time around it was the highest high and the lowest low. For several days, I was suffering from some major post-marathon blues made even worse because my Team in Training season also came to an end. No more marathon and no more training with my teammates. It was like a double whammy. On top of that, as I gave myself a week off to recover, the strength, confidence and beauty I had felt also disappeared and I started feeling sluggish, lazy and not-so-beautiful. It didn’t matter how many times I told myself that I just ran a marathon. Crazy in the head, I know!
Two of my friends actually sent me messages asking, “Hey? Are you okay?”
Yes, I’m okay. A short recovery run yesterday and Drea’s spin class today have helped me feel better. I’m slowly climbing out of my dark place.
I feel like I should choose another running goal to give myself focus, but I’m not quite completely out of my depression. It’d be safer to wait a a few more weeks otherwise I might over commit myself. Plus, I’m already signed up to JOG the Santa Barbara Half Marathon on November 6th. I should just focus on that.
But there are so many events I’m thinking of…Thanksgiving 4-Miler, Santa to Sea Half, Cheseboro Half, LA Marathon, Tough Enough Relay, Wine Country Half, San Diego Rock ‘n Roll Marathon, Valley Crest Half…and that gets me to June. Then there are next fall’s marathons…
Live to Run. Run to Live.