I recently made a playlist and titled it, “Early-30’s Crisis.” Fred saw it and chuckled.
“Early-30’s crisis?” he said. “Um, you’re in your mid-30’s babe.” Gee, thanks hubby! For the record, I’m not yet in my mid-30’s. Not yet.
My crisis…unfortunately I cannot go out and buy a new sports car, as much as I would LOVE to do so. I’ll admit, I’m a bit tired of driving our Highlander around with 2 kids and all their crap. The thought of driving an all-black sexy sports car with tinted windows, hell even a 4-door sedan, sounds pretty sweet! Just think: no car seats in the back, no crumbs or sand or woodchips in every crease of the seat or embedded in the floor mats, no random beads, wrappers and hair ties scattered in cup holders. Yes, that sounds dreamy.
My crisis has just been me feeling old, haggard, and needing something new…something to make me feel beautiful and alive again. It’s obviously just a phase, and one of many phases I’m sure to experience, but I’m thankful to say that I’m coming out of this current one, with the help of yoga and trail running.
I started Baptiste Power Vinyasa yoga, which I have been LOVING. During every yoga practice, I’m impressed with what my body and mind are able to do. Yoga makes me feel graceful, focused, strong, flexible and coordinated…as close to feeling like a dancer as I’ll ever get! (Sidenote: For those of you who don’t know, if I could be anything when I grow up, I’d be a dancer. Not a pole dancer or a strip dancer, though no disrespect to them, but an Allison Holker type of dancer. One wonderful compliment I recently received was when my daughter’s dance teacher asked if I was a dancer, based on the coordination of my 2 daughters! Oh, how I wish!)
And as for trail running…I started hitting the trails again just last month, and thank goodness I did! How can I not feel beautiful when I’m surrounded by the natural beauty that makes Santa Barbara what it is. Running through quiet mountains, canyons, along cliffs while gazing at the Pacific Ocean…it is stunning and refreshing and cleansing. How can I not feel strong and confident running up a hill for 6 miles straight? Sure, it burns like hell, and the quiet is replaced by my own heavy breathing, but it’s uphill running like that that makes me proud of my substantial quads. And then there’s the fact that there is no one on the trail to judge me. It’s not about time. It’s not about passing others or how I place in my age group. It’s just me, with the hawks overhead and the occasional mountain lion scaring the shit out of me, just enjoying the views, enjoying life and appreciating what my body can do.
So yes, I think I was going through a phase and I’m finding my happy place again. Om.